Content warning: discusses divisive topics.
If only you stopped and exercised your own opinions a tiny little bit. You’re not only not listening. You don’t listen at all. Both of you. Actually, all of you, loud shouters. Yeah, I know. The mediator entered the chat. But seriously. I am an outsider to most of the issues and I can tell you a lot.
This is a small blog, so if you are reading this, chances are I know who you are and admire you for what you have done. I would not create these awesome things you made. You are an awesome person. We all are.
But please, pretty please, when arguing/discussing or stating something divisive, make sure to acknowledge the opposing view, so that I know you did not fully miss and ignore the point someone was trying to make. This ensures we can all feel heard. Contrary to what you present, I know you are not a pathetic idiot. However, if you try hard enough to sound like one, you will be perceived as one.
I will cover some divisive topics that are hot on the webs, and that it really drives me sick that you are both(!) not listening.
And then dare you infer that some people cannot be reasoned with.
Racism, eugenics, slavery etc.
Let’s set this straight: racism in particular originally refers to the belief that in race there is some inherent superiority and inferiority.
After Darwin said what he said, people became obsessed with genetics, actual science as well as the associated pseudo-science. And then, armed with their shiny new toy, they started doing terrible things.
To your typical Mr / Ms Oblivious
Yes, racism exists. Some people are treated worse based on their background or appearance, especially if it is visible right away. Sometimes huge groups. In some places people are doing forced labour just because of what they look like, and it is disgusting. Just deal with it already. Something must be done with it, but acknowledging is the first step.
What should be done?
Finding instances of this unfortunate phenomenon, and then slowly making it more difficult to enslave people, for example by giving the modern slaves opportunities to escape the misery.
What should not be done?
Pretending there is absolutely no racism. This will only make actual racism go full steam ahead, spread and grow.
To your typical BLM-du-jour supporter
Unfortunately, most of these ‘worse treatments’ are sadly not unfounded. And here is what I mean: if high paying jobs are mostly occupied by your boring obese white male, the cause might be that other people, who would otherwise be perfectly capable of doing these types of jobs, are not capable, because of early encounters with drugs, crime, or otherwise being raised in the wrong neighbourhood, which just happens to be correlated with whatever visual characteristic because of historical background.
And yes, the corporate approach to addressing the problem through optimizing metrics really compromises on sanity. When a metric becomes a target, it ceases to be a good metric.
What should be done?
Making the neighbourhoods safer, supplying better education, sending in more police (yes, police! but with focus on spotting crime and stopping it before it concludes, as opposed to being brutal to people, even bad guys).
What should not be done?
Being ‘racist in the opposite direction’ than the person you disagree with. Preventing ‘boring’ people from being hired despite their talent. Or creating a Netflix documentary on Black Queen Elizabeth II. This will only make everyone sick (they are already sick).
However, some of this (especially dealing with the aftermath of slavery) is mostly a US-problem. You could have put your favourite export controls to good use for once, and stop boasting your internal discourse or forcing others to feel co-guilt.
Fascism
Fascism as I understand it is justifying heavy violence in order to keep order. And silencing people who do not like what is happening, people who are standing for something important for them. And centralising power.
To your typical order enthusiast
You have likely been called a fascist yesterday. If you really meant one of the above, please understand that centralising power easily leads to abuse. Silencing people also does not lead to good things. They are loud usually because there actually is a problem. Also, do not endorse violence. If you actually did so, this is crazy. Just stop already.
What should be done?
Try to get your definition of fascism straight, and ask yourself what you might have done.
What should not be done?
More violence. More centralisation of power. Just… don’t. Trust me on this one. We Poles know some of it first-hand.
To your typical anti-fascist
You have likely called someone a fascist yesterday. If they really meant one of the above, maybe use a better word, because calling someone a fascist does not carry a clear meaning. I know, you meant well, and for you it does, but not for the other person. Try to be more specific. The rule of thumb: the only use that does not need a definition is referring to the original Italian fascist party as fascists.
What should be done?
Say what you actually mean. Say ‘do not justify violence’. Or ‘do not centralise power so hard’. Define fascism if you want to use the word. If you mean people sharing views with the original fascist party, do name the views. It is not obvious. Not even a tiny bit. Imagine someone calling you a stalinist and never explaining. You can do better.
What should not be done?
Justifying violence against fascists. This way you are just becoming one of them. The best revenge is to not be like your enemy. Or calling people fascists because they disagree with you. Look up online what people have been called fascists for – this includes standing up for someone falsely accused, or not agreeing to a change you suggested in the space they manage.
Gender
Typically, people are born boring women or boring men. But once upon a time a person is born that is either not quite XX nor XY, or is in any other way special and unique, related to this matter. The people in question have a really hard time living their lives. They do not fit in societal norms, they feel estranged by the very language they use.
There is not much trace of them in written history, which might suggest that we brought the problem onto ourselves quite recently, letting industrialisation poison our environment, ingesing dangerous chemicals from sewage waste to ruin our gametes and otherwise stuffing our pregnant women with hormone overdoses often faithfully prescribed by honest doctors.
(Note on language: English is an exception, almost every other language reveals the identity of speaker. In Thai, for example, a woman being polite is expected to add ‘kaa’ and a man being polite is expected to add ‘krap’ at the end of each uttered phrase. This is because they honestly look quite alike, and this has served them to avoid confusion.)
To your typical traditionalist
Yes, there are people like this and their lives are miserable. And they too have feelings. The ‘allies’ who wave colorful flags usually mean ’these people are also human beings’. The pronouns thing is the opposite of a dog whistle. The other camp does not feel anything even remotely weird in it.
What should be done?
If you know such a person, respect the person, do not dismiss anyone. Be aware of the struggle.
What should not be done?
Yelling at people who try to make a change. They are hopefully solving a problem you are still not even aware of. Think about it for a while.
To your typical pronouns person
These situations are extremely rare. They are so rare that they only started to surface once the broadband became a thing. Some of the people deciding to be non-conformant are just ‘boring’ people but bored, or mentally ill, or having a hard time, or pressured into this. You have been pushing so hard that the traditionalist is nauseated already. Think: all the Netflix and other corporate entities lately ’taking action’. Can you see how the corporate actions are tasteless and forced? And worse, through the doubtful quality they actively harm the community you are trying to empower.
What should be done?
Working closely with those actually affected. If the problem existed for ages, it might as well fade out gradually. No need for immediate urgent policy action. Urgent policy decisions have a long tradition of bringing more harm than justice. Policy is for matters that keep reappearing, and agreeing on a widely accepted resolution.
What should not be done?
Promoting self-harm, like encouraging innocent ‘boring’ children and adults who are going through a hard time to take hormones or do invasive irreversible surgeries. People with mental ilnesses or other hardships are surprisingly susceptible to believing they are maybe suffering from the same thing that they keep hearing about (hipochondric?).
And waving colors/pronouns. Consider that to the traditionalists, the colors are not a signal of universal virtue. They are a banner endorsing self-harm. Think about it for a while.
The facts of life
(For those unaware, this English idiom apparently literally translates to ’normal things’ or figuratively ’things that happen between men and women’.)
The only reason we are still around is that babies are born every now and then. They are born by healthy ‘boring’ women (or at least used to be, last time I checked), and, excluding some unsettling situations, with the participation of healthy ‘boring’ men.
Most of the outliers are either infertile (unfortunate, but you can stil live a life and even have ‘spiritual’ children, successors, or whatever), or decide not to have children.
Yes there are boys who are drawn to boys and girls drawn to girls. But the major problem is that following this urge till the end does not naturally lead to having children.
And yes there are people who decide to attach and detach semi-randomly, forming temporary families, but every baby needs a mama, needs a papa. If you decide to co-create life, take the responsibility for not raising a psychopath, so try to think upfront who are you going to share this responsibility with.
There is a group of plesure-seekers in this world, who are not very concerned with the future of others, and will happily enjoy sucking all the juice out of life. Other people see it and want to do it as well. This idea spreads, and imagine if everyone did it: we would become extinct pretty quickly.
To your typical parent
Some people do not want to have children. Or they want to have fun at the expense of others, or even themselves, or their own future children. Some are not going to change this. Just accept it.
What should be done?
Lead by example. Do something meaningful with your own life. Yet if you know someone you feel you must persuade, do so in private.
What should not be done?
Do not call people names in public. They do not like that.
To your typical antinatalist
You too, dear reader, were born, because of daddy and mommy. But maybe you did not ask for it, maybe they did not plan this, maybe you don’t even know them. I am very sorry if this is the case. Maybe you come from a very happy family. I feel happy for you if so. If you are a perfectly healthy individual, and decide not to have children, because you don’t feel like it and want to spend the rest of your life on self-entertainment and seeking the ultimate pleasure instead of helping shape the future, this is… pretty selfish to be honest. Listen, I do not criticise pursuing a different important goal. But settling for exploring pleasures.
Someone noticing this is not hating you, just criticising the irrensponsible way of living.
What should be done?
Try to think for a while what impact your life is going to have on the future of all the others. Maybe you want to keep being the way you are, maybe you don’t. This is on you.
What should not be done?
Enforcing your way of life on others, even if they try to enforce theirs on you. If all you want to do with your life is explore your ability to perceive pleasure, please at least quietly enjoy this idea yourself.
Feminism and sexism
Women deserve a really special place. We Poles foster a culture of high respect towards them. However satisfying, being a mother is really hard physical work, including being pregnant, breastfeeding, having the strongest possible emotional connection with the child as it grows bigger, to say nothing of giving birth.
Equally hard physical work is the women’s fertility cycle. I appreciate all you endure, my lady readers out there. Let me describe it to my gentleman readers: every month our dear ladies suffer tremendously for several days, then typically move on to feeling constant unstoppable desire for a week, then they feel quite neutral for another few days, only to feel great anger for another few days. The fertility cycle is so central to female biology, that all kinds of related illnesses, including endometriosis, are making the quality of life way way lower.
Typically the biology means a woman has less muscle mass and other differences leading to less overall strength. You can take a look at the olympic games world records to get an understanding of to what degree. Also, good luck trying to move something heavy while being in great pain.
The above are real disadvantages for some kinds of work, including construction site, mining or firefighting.
Nevertheless, lately we became very concerned with helping women get all kinds of jobs. This is obviously great for the economy, as the workforce doubles, but has non-trivial effects on the society.
While several decades ago, most women stayed at home during the day, currently they are mostly spending their active time at work.
To your typical incel
The feminist is trying to make the world a better place for women, who for real are at a relative disadvantage from the very start.
What should be done?
Learn some good manners / savoir-vivre. Become a better person. You will thank me later.
What should not be done?
Accusing women of secretly running the world. Making it harder for them.
To your typical fighting feminist
Your opponent either does not know what you girls have to endure, or has some valuable insight into what not to do. Do you want to work as a firewoman or a renowned chemicist? Go ahead. Do you want to force women to work if they prefer to focus on family life? Don’t. The problem is that advocating for working women leads to women abandoning their desire for family life and sometimes frustration for not being able to compete/compare with men who have more time on average.
What should be done?
Help women who want to work get jobs, all while being aware of some of the unintended societal consequences.
What should not be done?
Push women into working when they do not want to. Diluting the original idea of feminism by crossing it with other movements. For example, do not unite too hard with (disability) accessibility fighters.
Environment
Man-made environmental impact is big. We built monstrual factories and regulated huge rivers, to change landscape forever. This is all great, but everything comes at a cost. Apparently the climate is changing (in particular, rising temperatures seem concerning to prepare for).
To your typical industrialist
Yes the environment suffers a lot. There is PFAS and friends everywhere, to say nothing of omnipresent teflon, radioactive waste and everything else. We keep discovering surprising byproduct impact of miracle chemicals. Just as much as we are excited by today’s inventions, we used to be all into uranium dining plates, Distaval and diamorphine.
What should be done?
Taking care when suddenly deciding to produce tons of something new. Filtering exhaust and sewage. Conducting tests. A lot of tests.
What should not be done?
Pretending the never-ending growth of industrial production will not impact the environment. Jumping with hype at the next shiny invention and suddenly using it for everything. Please wait a bit, until some problems surface (they always do).
To your typical climatist
No, the planet is not on fire, but it is being poisoned. Carbon footprint is a loose metric made up by BP, either to guilt-trip consumers, or to empower them with an approximate pollution metric. However, CO2 is not our biggest worry. We should worry about actually dangerous chemicals, like random acids, oxides, bases, growth hormones, and all that, casually floating around in the air and drinking water.
What should be done?
Factories should use filters and dispose of them safely. You should stop buying a new thing before the old thing has concluded its duty. Fix old things, buy fixable, multi-use things, keep disposable things for longer than you should. Do not throw out plastic bags if they are still perfectly clean. Keep a stash of them and re-use them.
What should not be done?
Irreversably destroying priceless paintings or monuments, or throwing food at them. Everyone already knows about your existence. Now if you really care, get educated at actual environment protection, and get a job there. You can make the most impact this way.
Gun control
I’m not even bothering to write on this one. This is specifically a US-problem. Literally no one has problems with this topic except for you Americans.
Cryptocurrency
Disclaimer: my full stake in cryptocurrency is <$100 USD as of 2025.
Because the global financial system has artificial bottlenecks, not fit for the age of internet, cryptocurrency has become a hit. This simple idea caught on, despite some flaws. Apparently it currently wastes significant amount of our resources (mainly energy, including fuel/pollution, but also electronics) on solving artificial mathematical puzzle nobody asked for. The bottlenecks include high fees, centralisation of power, and slow processing.
To your typical crypto-bro
No, cryptocurrency does not solve the problem automatically. It solves some of it, but the crucial part of financial system is dispute resolution. Because cryptocurrency is censorship-resistant, it basically codifies theft and (depending on the actual implementation) money laundering.
What should be done?
Cryptocurrency does have its place. But we are yet to see it used right.
What should not be done?
Bragging all around about how awesome it is. Because it is not (yet). Do not say ‘crypto’ to refer to cryptocurrency. Crypto used to mean (and still means) cryptography.
To your typical anti-crypto
Yes cryptocurrency has its flaws but it does come in handy in some situations. For example, it truly is censorship-resistant. Depending on the actual implementation, you virtually cannot be prevented from receiving funds or transferring them.
What should be done?
Be careful of scams and so on.
What should not be done?
Blaming the crypto craze of all evil. You are just being jealous of the crypto bros that got rich out of the blue.
Generative AI / LLMs
There is something big happening right now. Recent developments in modelling language allow us to perform non-trivial text processing automatically. However, this is still not perfect, and will likely never be. No perfect replacement for using your good ol’ brain.
The implications of large-scale genAI are profound: deep fakes, burying the truth among slop.
To your typical AI embracer
Please understand: lazy use of genAI is outright disrespectful. If you flood someone with lots of stuff you probably do not consume yourself, imagine someone doing it to you. Not even listening to your question, and sending you something factually incorrect. It is worse than saying ‘get lost’, because you cannot even tell at first.
Overusing genAI might have adverse mental health effects.
What should be done?
Use the technology for what it can do. Analysing text, search, reminding you of the customary structure of typical text forms.
What should not be done?
Putting AI in my face. If you want to send me something AI-generated, just send me the prompt. And for everything dear to me, do not try to fill loneliness talking to a text predictor, and never ever fall in love with a machine. Also, do not fill the infospace with AI slop. Fill it with what you wrote (the prompts) instead - simple as that.
To your typical AI skeptic
I get it, I too am tired of people abusing genAI. But dismissing people for being bots because they are somehow still unaware of how immature this technology currently is, is a bit too much.
What should be done?
Discouraging people from having free-form conversations with a text predictor. Discouraging people from filling the infospace with AI slop.
What should not be done?
Banning genAI. Like all technology, it will be useful ultimately.
God
Honestly, I have not seen much of discussion of God online, but I somehow notice that this is a divisive topic.
Spirituality is a very important part of life to some as they claim, but not others as they claim. The dominant way of doing spirituality in the world is apparently christianity, especially in the parts of the world where people know English (or Spanish or other languages alike). The central idea to most spirituality is God. Some people are okay with the idea, some are not.
To your typical preacher
Some people have not yet met God or do not realize it. Or they want to reject Him. Sorry. Just let them be. One day they might decide otherwise. Try to remember your own episodes of rejecting all of it. Were you happy to be forced back in place? I don’t think so.
What should be done?
Do your thing, and live in justice. Preach where people can go away if they don’t like it. Remember free will? God will take care of the rest.
What should not be done?
Forcing people to love someone they don’t know.
To your typical atheist
So you do not believe in an invisible guy. We totally get it, no one does. Yet that does not mean by itself there is no God. The reason is that God is simply not an invisible guy.
If you have problem with the notion of some person exceeding reality, try to not focus too hard on the person side of things (although on the other hand christianity puts an emphasis on the person of Jesus). If you try to read the name as ‘reality’ or ‘happiness’ or ’love’, you might then be able to understand some ideas better. You cannot touch love or smell the fabric of reality, yet they both are somehow present.
Take the free mini-dictionary:
- love of God - truly unconditional love
- calling of God - deep yearning for something (planted by God)
- fighting God - fighting reality
- finding God - finding purpose/meaning in God
- hearing God - realising something (groundbreaking), but thanks to God
- following God - deciding to do justice
- God’s commandments - the simple way to be happy
with all that you should get a rough notion of what (or actually who) someone can mean when saying ‘God’. So no invisible freaks.
What should be done?
Let them believe and find meaning this way. If you want to understand them better, have a try at reading the Bible, if you have not read it yet. Good read. One of my non-believing acquaintances recommends it as ’the best self-help book he’s ever read’.
What should not be done?
Convincing people there is no justice/meaning in life. The worst that can happen is you succeed and the person jumps or something.
Summary
This post is longer than I hoped it to be. Sorry I did it. I tried so long to just stay quiet and not feed the endless positive feedback loop. But I hope this piece will make a difference.
Anyway, if you plan on saying something in the public, please read the text you have just written once more before hitting send/publish. Do not call people names. Do not make discussions worse. Try to soften them. You will be surprised to learn more if you try to challenge your opinions just a bit.
I felt I finally needed to write this after reading Drew DeVault’s recent blog posts on ‘fascists’. All I can say is I respect him for keeping his opinions to his personal site, and I respect him for linking sources so that a curious reader can form an independent opinion.
Hi Drew, we exchanged several emails before. I use much software written by you. I know you are a great person, concerned with important topics. I get it that in the US foreigners are not welcome (though hearing stories of my friends and relatives, I suppose it never was much better). But get off Kling, please. Do read what he writes with some empathy. Endless off-topic discussions about socioeconomics have destroyed not one project and community, and have sucked in too much of our valuable time. Sorry for saying this in public, but I feel like this is a voice of the quiet majority as opposed to the vocal minority.
Anyway, let me say it again: do not call people names, especially if the person deserves it. It only makes you look worse, not him or her. If you have any comments, and want to refine my understanding of your position, please do email me (see the ‘about’ section). I hope to link this post whenever I see two people not listening to each other.